Gut Feelingz

I have had some incredibly low moments as of late. Lots of feeling defeated, very little hope for the future, just really low. I’ve been basically bedridden since November 3 (Just looked it up. Shoot. Two months solid. No wonder). Anyway, it’s fine. (My motto as of late: it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine! ) Derek has been amazing - seriously. He has done all of the Derek things and 95% of the Becca things, and he has been so loving and encouraging and guilt-dismissing the entire time. We’ve also had a couple holiday breaks in there which has helped. James had to quarantine from exposure for ten days which meant less early mornings, no soccer practice, and another potential helper at home. Hazel was sick and fevered for a bit so she stayed home from school as well. All of this eliminated some busy work and allowed me to stay in bed with a heating pad. Not the dream, obviously, but nice to be able to be down with less repercussions.  I have learned to lean more on my village, le...

My doctor didn’t come talk to me after my colonoscopy, and the report just listed moderate to severe “colitis” (which means general inflammation), so I was pretty clueless as to his thoughts and findings. Thankfully I had a follow up appointment just a few days out (Monday, Dec. 6). Pathology results (twelve biopsies again, ow) had come back along with blood test results and stool sample results, so it promised to be a pretty comprehensive appointment. Turns out it was. I have Crohn’s disease. :( I have damage/inflammation/ulcers in my stomach, my small intestine, and all through my large intestine (minus my rectum, again, thankfully). My pathology results plus the physical manifestations they could see (cobblestoning etc) led him to diagnose me officially and confidently with Crohn’s.  Somehow it feels scarier and more serious now, but I have to remember that my body is not going to suddenly change just because they figured out what it is called. I do, however, have a whole new me...

My GI wanted me to get a second colonoscopy (and EDG) to kind of follow up and see if things were better or worse or what was going on in there. He prescribed me the normal poisonous juice, but I begged him to let me do Miralax/Gatorade prep I’d head about. He told me that honestly he didn’t care what method I used, as long as it was efficient. So we went with it! (Yay!) He told me to do one scoop (cap full) of miralax with 6oz clear fluid 4-6 times within a four hour period. Oh, and 2 dulcolax at the beginning of all that. I did a third dulcolax mid-way through and made sure to chug lots of fluids between doses (and did maybe 8 scoops of miralax total). But still - waaaay less awful than the battery acid they typically make you drink. And I felt that the clean-out process was much gentler too. Note: I also did a clear liquid diet for two days proceeding. This was hard. The first 24 hours, I had a raging migraine that wouldn’t settle and just felt awful. I would have thought it was a s...

For the last week or so, I’ve had a lot of stomach pain and diarrhea. I’ve been passing a ton of undigested food as well, which is concerning. None of this has yet been as bad as it got pre-diagnosis, but it’s still pretty bad. And they’re all definite red flags. I’ve tried taking Tylenol and using a heat pack and eating really safe foods in the hopes that this would pass.  It has not gotten better. This all started about 10 days after I’d been diagnosed with COVID. I had had a relatively mild case. I had been cleared and had tested negative, but then my littles came down with it. It’s possible this flare is due to stress (health anxiety is no joke). I’ve also been stressing about the upcoming holidays and planning all the details about hosting loads of company for Cora’s upcoming baptism etc. That likely isn’t helping. (I hate that anything fun or exciting automatically manifests as stress in my body.) However, these things may all be inconsequential. It’s possible that all this i...

My stomach has started hurting again. First, it was just that left-of-the-navel area (which was the location of the worst of the pain before), but now it’s starting to spread. I know I’ve been stressed, so I’m trying to rest and find joy and say “no” when I can. I’m not sure what else to do. I don’t want to tell my doc because I don’t want him to up my Prednisone (I’m at 5mg now… so close to the end). Hopefully it will pass. I’ll eat safe foods and baby my body and hope things heal and don’t get worse. Fingers crossed.  Update: It worked. I was able to baby my belly enough for this to pass. At least for a time.

Middle of the night musings:  Friday night: Ugh We\"re on vacation and I feel so sick. I must have gotten RSV (one of my kids tested positive for that a couple weeks ago, negative for Covid and Influenza). Idk. I\"m not congested just super sore and achy and headachy. Fevered and convulsing. I wonder if it\"s from going off prednisone. Some diarrhea but not really watery or urgent (could be curry), no blood or pain (besides the extremely achy joints/muscles). Googled. Could it be Prednisone withdrawal? I just went from 10mg to 5mg (doc said to just stop after 10, but I didn’t want to risk a flare so I tried to taper more slowly).  Currently (Sat night / early Sun am): Stayed on Tylenol (reg dose, 1000mg) all day so I wouldn’t feel too crummy, but I was still weak and light headed. Then I woke up in the middle of the night FREEZING and convulsing (no exaggeration) from a fever - whilst in blankets etc. I did have a cough Fri evening, but it wasn’t extreme and was mostly a...

Oy. I swear. This disease is such a carnival ride. Once things finally start working or making sense, once you finally get a little comfortable, something jolts you in another direction, and you have to reassess the plan all over again. The twist this time was side effects. I called this morning to report a few concerning things. My main concern was the headaches. For the past few days, I have had horrendous headaches/migraines that wake me up in the night and keep me up for hours. Just awful ones. I take Tylenol. I take THC. I press my pressure points. All the things. But the headaches persist. At first I wondered if this was cannabis withdrawal, because I wasn’t taking a gummy every day or trying not to if I could help it. Nothing online seemed to indicate that that could be the case. Then I wondered if it was from Prednisone - from tapering down too quickly or something. It seems like a lot of people get headaches from that, but they also get nausea, chills, vomiting, dizziness and ...