Gut Feelingz

I have had some incredibly low moments as of late. Lots of feeling defeated, very little hope for the future, just really low. I’ve been basically bedridden since November 3 (Just looked it up. Shoot. Two months solid. No wonder). Anyway, it’s fine. (My motto as of late: it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine! ) Derek has been amazing - seriously. He has done all of the Derek things and 95% of the Becca things, and he has been so loving and encouraging and guilt-dismissing the entire time. We’ve also had a couple holiday breaks in there which has helped. James had to quarantine from exposure for ten days which meant less early mornings, no soccer practice, and another potential helper at home. Hazel was sick and fevered for a bit so she stayed home from school as well. All of this eliminated some busy work and allowed me to stay in bed with a heating pad. Not the dream, obviously, but nice to be able to be down with less repercussions.  I have learned to lean more on my village, le...

My doctor didn’t come talk to me after my colonoscopy, and the report just listed moderate to severe “colitis” (which means general inflammation), so I was pretty clueless as to his thoughts and findings. Thankfully I had a follow up appointment just a few days out (Monday, Dec. 6). Pathology results (twelve biopsies again, ow) had come back along with blood test results and stool sample results, so it promised to be a pretty comprehensive appointment. Turns out it was. I have Crohn’s disease. :( I have damage/inflammation/ulcers in my stomach, my small intestine, and all through my large intestine (minus my rectum, again, thankfully). My pathology results plus the physical manifestations they could see (cobblestoning etc) led him to diagnose me officially and confidently with Crohn’s.  Somehow it feels scarier and more serious now, but I have to remember that my body is not going to suddenly change just because they figured out what it is called. I do, however, have a whole new me...

My GI wanted me to get a second colonoscopy (and EDG) to kind of follow up and see if things were better or worse or what was going on in there. He prescribed me the normal poisonous juice, but I begged him to let me do Miralax/Gatorade prep I’d head about. He told me that honestly he didn’t care what method I used, as long as it was efficient. So we went with it! (Yay!) He told me to do one scoop (cap full) of miralax with 6oz clear fluid 4-6 times within a four hour period. Oh, and 2 dulcolax at the beginning of all that. I did a third dulcolax mid-way through and made sure to chug lots of fluids between doses (and did maybe 8 scoops of miralax total). But still - waaaay less awful than the battery acid they typically make you drink. And I felt that the clean-out process was much gentler too. Note: I also did a clear liquid diet for two days proceeding. This was hard. The first 24 hours, I had a raging migraine that wouldn’t settle and just felt awful. I would have thought it was a s...